yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Randomize
