well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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