Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
