I'm lost and stupid without you.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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