i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
