I CAN MOONWALK!
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
