Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
