yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
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