too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Randomize
