Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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