Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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