It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Are we still banned from the library?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
