plz talk dirty to me
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The adults are the big ones right?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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