Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
