that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
