I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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