Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
