I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
