dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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