I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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