I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
