I don't remember. Are we still dating?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize