Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
