Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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