Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
