idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Randomize
