**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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