Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I need moral support for this bender
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
