He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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