She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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