I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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