i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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