Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize