Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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