Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
