At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
