Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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