Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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