those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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