She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
