I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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