she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
True college students do jello shots in the library
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