i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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