Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
