When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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