found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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