I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
