So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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