I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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