windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
