i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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