It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
