you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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