i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
My underwear smells like fireworks.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
