his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
So much Jack, so little girl.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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