He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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