no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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