i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
