their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
