Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
