I accidentally had phone sex last night
babies were throwing up all over the place
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
