don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
soo... how was my night?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
