You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
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