you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
